he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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