Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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