Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just high enough for therapy.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
