If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
