Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
