if only i could text you this smell
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
