BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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