No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
