I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
