I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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