420 ftw
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
