That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize