I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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