Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
