butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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