By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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