were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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