You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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