Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
