Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
