We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
