never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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