# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I did not marry a roomba.
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