I'm jealous of your bromance
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
