PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
