Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize