Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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