you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
