I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
smell my finger.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
