Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
