Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
