I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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