she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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