booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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