he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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