We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
