singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Houston, we have a blender
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
