what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
