The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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