I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
