Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
