Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
