cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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