There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize