ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
