I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I came so hard my ears popped.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
