yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
