Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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