Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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