Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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