i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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