What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
