Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
