After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
