in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
