I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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