GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
