just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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