Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
