Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
