If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
