You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize